A few other things that Eliot’s doing right now.

• Going shirtless. For months now we’ve been cutting the tags out of all of his tops because they’re “too itchy”. One night about a week ago I cut the tag down to the nub, but he still wouldn’t get in bed. “I can’t sleep, Mommy! It’s just too itchy!” So finally I said, “okay, why don’t you just take your shirt off and sleep in your pants.” He went right to sleep. The next morning I asked if he liked sleeping without a shirt and he said, “yes. I can feel the cold spots [the satin trim] of BearBear on my tummy.” So now we constantly find him walking around topless, and he’s having none of that p.j. top business at bedtime.


• Playing Go-Fish. And he’s good at it, too!


• Watching Spongebob Squarepants. He knows every single character and can tell you all about them. We’re thrilled.


• Jumping. My God – the jumping! He can’t sit for more than a few minutes without standing on something and jumping off. The sofa, the table, the bed. Also wrecking the furniture – throwing the pillows all over the floor and tossing blankets at lamps. We go over it constantly. “Eliot, do NOT stand on the table!” But he impulsively stands back on the arm of the sofa moments later.


• Skipping a bath. He really dislikes bath time right now. I’ve tried everything to make it fun, but I’m running out of creative juices on the matter. So now we just sorta get through it the best we can. I let him skip on the weekends, but on school nights he just has to do it, albeit very quickly. We call it a "snowman bath". He stands up and I soap him down from top to bottom till he's totally white. Then rinse. We’re in and out of that bath in about five minutes.
  


• Growing. I think he’s just gone through a growth spurt. Just over the last month or so he’s outgrown all of his 3T tops – they are all too short. His 3T shorts, however, are fine. Why? Because when he spurted upward, his tummy spurted inward. That is to say, he’s tall and skinny. The 3T shorts fit perfectly at that tiny little waist. But we’re going to have to stock up on 4T for the fall.


• Playing Soccer. He’s started taking soccer class at school. Coach Rob comes in once a week and teaches them soccer basics. Eliot LOVES it! He has told me about how you can’t use your hands in soccer – only your feet or your head. And he knows how to dribble the soccer ball, too.

Sports with Eliot

Scene: playing ball with Mommy and Daddy

Me: I’m not as good at catching as Daddy. I never really learned how.
Eliot: I can teach you.
Me: This should be good!
Eliot: *stretching his arms wide* First you have to hold your arms out REALLY wide. Then when the ball comes *clapping his hands together quickly* you just CLOSE your hands fast like this. *shrug* Then you just catch the ball.
Me: It’s that easy, huh?
Eliot: Weeellll… the most important thing.. (at this point, he closes one eye tightly and leans forward with the open eye) … is you just gotta keep your eye on the ball.

Scene: 8:45 PM on Thursday. Eliot has no desire to sleep. He has requested that his parents check on him one last time with the following instructions: Mommy knocks. Daddy enters first. Then both Mommy and Daddy give hugs and kisses.

Mommy and Daddy enter the room. Eliot hides beneath the covers giggling incessantly. Mommy and Daddy ponder where their child has gone. Eliot responds:

Eliot: I've gone to school

Mommy: You've gone to school?

Daddy: But where's our son?

Eliot: He's gone to school?

Mommy: But it's night?

Eliot: (removing the covers) Why didn't you enter like I told you?

Mommy: But we did. You asked for Mommy to knock and Daddy to enter first.

Eliot: But that was yesterday and I already forgot.

Mommy: But that's what you last wanted us to do.

Eliot: (brief pause) Look! It's not about this. (small cursive "e's" in the air made with the right index finger) Or this. (small rectangles made in the air with the left index finger) But about this! (A symphony of finger and hand movements circling his head and upper body exclaiming his meaning in abstract.)

Mommy: Oh sorry director.

Daddy: We didn't get understand what you meant. We'll try harder next time.

Eliot: OK.

exterminator

We have ant issues. There are tons of them streaming into the house looking for water and whatever else they can get their grubby little tentacles on. So we called the exterminator. Eliot fell in love with him as soon as he arrived.

Eliot: I like your flashlight.

Exterminator: Do you want to hold it?

Eliot: SURE! (Shining the light around the cupboards) I have one, too.

Eliot ran upstairs and retrieved flashlight pig from the bedside table. So the exterminator looked around the cupboards with flashlight pig while Eliot looked around with the flashlight.

Later that afternoon, when I picked Eliot up from school he said, “I hope we still have ants.”

“WHAT!?”

“Well, I forgot to show that guy my books, and if we have ants maybe he’ll come back and I can show them to him.”

Boys are funny, part 285

Scene: Picking Eliot up from school. He was playing with blocks with a friend.

Eliot: This is a “deep-down-under-boat-boom”. It goes under the water… and the driver sits here… and the wheels roll along the bottom… and it gets all the dirt off the bottom from the sand.
Friend: That’s really neat.
Me: Time to put up your toys so we can go.
Friend: But I’m still playing!
Me: Okay, I suppose we can skip it today.
Friend: Eliot, can I have your deep-down-under.. uhm… thing?
Eliot: Sure! Here you go!
Friend: Can I wreck it?
Eliot: *shrug* Ya. You can wreck it.
Friend: *stomping* ALRIGHT!

If Eliot ran the world, things would be better

Scene: Driving home from school

Eliot: I didn’t wet my nap-mat today!
Me: You haven’t done that in months!
Eliot: Did you wet your nap-mat today?
Me: No, work doesn’t let me nap.
Eliot: Why not?
Me: That’s a very good question.
Eliot: They should. Naps take away the grumpies.

overheard at the Cornett house

“If I find Bear Bear on the ceiling fan ONE MORE TIME – he’s going to time out!”

“You have GOT to stop whining. There’s just not a net small enough to catch ants with. There’s JUST NOT.”

“Well, there are only so many times you can ‘play monster’ with the cat before he fights back.”

“What does ‘loquacious’ mean?”

I really should calm down.

I was trying to get Eliot into the bathtub. I had asked a million times for him to get undressed. Finally I hollered, “ELIOT! GET NAKED, NOW!” The last thing I was expecting to hear from the other room was, “Mooooom… calm down.” That “down” was stretched out in about three southern-drawl syllables so it sounded more like, “day-yawn”. Suppressing my laughter, I tried to explain that when I have to ask him to do something over and over, it takes time. If I can’t trust him to do things when I ask him to, then we will have to start taking that time away from play time… etc. When I finished my spiel, I recognized the zoned-out look that I see so often in his father’s face. I said, “Eliot, what did I just say?”
He responded, “You know what you said.”
“Yes, but I want to hear YOU say it so I’ll know if you were listening or not. What did I just say?”
“I’m not going to answer that question.”
You know, I can’t really blame him. Looking back, my little speech was very much like the ones that I would have zoned out, too